Micheal is Free - Jesse is Next

by Fintan Dunne, June 14th, 2005

A jury has cleared Micheal Jackson on all counts at the end his sensational trial. Jackson had been charged with conduct unbecoming an American, singing, and being a freaky guy we don't understand.

The case was taken under 'Pick on Some Scapegoat' laws enacted as part of the Everybody's a Terrorist Act of 2001. The prosecution relied heavily on video footage from a Micheal Jackson programme filmed by the BBC's "Oh, What a Setup" investigative show.

Lawyers for the state depicted Jackson as a typical long-haried wierdo, whose lack of crew cut hair and overall singerly demeanour were at variance with normal tendencies to want to bomb towelheads and kill something with a gun. But Jackson's defense argued that the pop idol was ironically just a diversion from the planeloads of mutilated bodies of the above-mentioned crew-cut Americans, being flown quietly home for burial in the dark of night.

Speaking after the verdict, a U.S. Army spokesman, Major Slaughter Hardon decried the outcome.

"It's a sorry state of affairs when you can't castrate some frikkin wierdo and cut slices of flesh off his screaming body without mercy. Not only has justice been denied but so has mindless scapegoating."

"What has America come to?," Hardon wondered aloud.

Ends

By the way, you heard it first here on March 16th, 2005:

Media Shy to Report Virtual Collapse of Jackson Case

The case against Michael Jackson has suffered likely terminal blow after the boy at the center of the case descredited himself on the witness stand over the last few days.

But admitting that would mean less public interest in the case; less viewers and readers of media coverage of the case; and thus less profit for the major media.

The impact of his testimony is a nettle only AFP's reporter Patrick Moser has fully grasped: "Over the past few days, lead attorney Thomas Mesereau tore to shreds not only the testimony of the accuser but also the claims made his mother, brother and sister."