Monday, March 28, 2005

Musab al-Zarqawi Now Surrounded (sort of)

BREAKING: News out of Iraq says that Musab al-Zarqawi, whom many believe to be long dead is in fact surrounded! This is exciting! Will there be a shootout? Or will the 'terror mastermind' come quietly like that actor guy who plays Saddam did. Standby...

UPDATE: Actually there appears to be a twist to this story:
"Interim Interior Minister Falah al-Naqib,[said] that Iraq's most-wanted terrorist, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, was "surrounded in more than one area, and we hope for the best. He's moving between more than one area.''
Oh. How can you have someone surrounded in more than one area? And how can you be surrounded if you are moving between more than one area.

This Zarqawi guy must be a bit slow on the uptake. Why would he be escaping from one area where he is surrounded, only to move somewhere else where he is also surrounded. What's the point?! I'm getting confused here. Standby....

LATEST: Um..... still no word of a shootout, or anything.
Looks like this is going to take longer than I thought.

While we are waiting, news also that Iraqi officials have come up with a novel means of holding pay negociations. Gone are those interminable table-pounding sessions between employers and worker's representatives. The new fast track style is for the employer to simply shoot the worker's straight away. Thus speeding up the process of resolving labor disputes and hopefully leading to a faster rebuilding of Iraq as a modern market economy!
"Government bodyguards opened fire on a group of employees demanding higher wages, killing one person. Interim Interior Minister Falah al-Naqib... said the protest was among "attempts to destabilize the situation'' in Iraq... Haithem Jassim, one of three people injured in the melee, said the demonstrators were unarmed."
Great to see Iraq leading the world like this.

FINAL UPDATE: Still no news on Zarqawi. Oh well.....


Post a Comment

<< Home